A College Student’s Fear

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only college student who fears her future. I get good grades in my classes, I understand what I’m learning, and I’m on track to graduate early, but does that even matter in the big scheme of things? I look at my friends and some of them have amazing internships where they’re getting paid, one of my friends is even receiving a salary already, and I’m still interning at a small local office for free. I tell myself it’s not about the money, I like where I intern and I’m continuously learning new valuable things, but I’m afraid I’m setting myself up for failure. Shouldn’t I be going after the big internships? Places where I can start marketing for the big dog companies, a place that can open doors for me when I graduate? Or am I exactly where I belong, learning the little things before I throw myself into an ocean where I might drown because I wasn’t prepared?

I don’t know if these are everyones fears or just my own. At first I thought that as I got closer to graduating my fears would shrink, but I only feel them growing. People tell me I’m doing good, they remind me how impressed they are at my successes, but how do I know when I’m good enough?

Maybe it’s just an endless learning and growing cycle, maybe I’ll never feel ready. In some twisted way I really hope that that’s the reality. I hope that when I’m 35 and have a successful career I’ll still be thinking that it’s not good enough. I think that fear and hunger for more will be what drives me to success.